Mission Statement

Here at Catholic Church Inc., we are dedicated to the conversion of new souls to the Christian faith. We offer many exciting products to assist the faithful in relieving the burden of the fear of damnation for oneself and loved ones. Our corporation is committed to a holy hierarchy that allows sinners the opportunity to enter into a relationship with those representing God on this earth. By preaching the Gospel, providing access to holy relics, and interceding in prayer on behalf of paying clients, Catholic Church Inc. has the only system on the market to guarantee your acceptance into everlasting salvation. For a nominal fee, you and your loved ones can experience the peace of mind that comes from a secured salvation.

Employee of the Month


Friar Cipolla



This month's featured employee is Friar Cipolla. He has been an inspiration in his tireless work to bless the people of Certaldo. His sermons and his selfless sharing of holy relics from his personal collection have been most beneficial to that town. Residents of Certaldo were astounded to see coals from the fire the burned Saint Laurence to a toasty crisp. Prayer to this relic was most devout and lucrative. 
Way to go, Friar Cipolla!

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